oops!

So, as you read in my last post, AGES AGO....I said I was going to talk about how I over come my cravings! 
I am NO LONGER a professional at this and need to start all over again.  Boy oh boy, justification sure can play a big role where food is concerned.  I have been eating healthy and in moderation...but added some of my favorites cheese, nuts, then a bit of sugar (just a crumb...which turned into a whole piece of cake today!) Also, made some NEW recipes for a catering event AND beause it was such a new food to me I had to taste it...that's the only legit cheat this whole week...the food was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO good that I have been eating leftovers for 2 days!!! All I needed was a bite to make sure it was delicious for my clients....but there went another and another and...well you get the idea! 
I have not gained any weight, but have not lost either. (THANK YOU LORD) But, Now is the time to get a new view.  I justified "most" of the cheating because the new menus I created (Lebonese) were basically extremely healthy ingredients...but had olive oil...in everything! And honeyand mangos in a salad that I ate 4 TIMES today alone, 2 cups each time....man it was yummy. Healthy food...yes! On my phase 2 protcol...NO!
 How am I going to get past this?  Determination!  I will not gain back 87 pounds by any means, I will NEVER go back to that again, but I do need to regain my right view of food.  I can and do enjoy my food, but I only "need" what is neccesary to fuel my body...otherwise am I abusing God's temple?  And the type of food I put in my temple should not be defiled (processed, loaded with sugar etc)  I notice a difference when I eat healthy food.  When I ate that cake today, within 40 minutes I thought I was going to drop...I am not used to that anymore.  I love having a steady energy all day...I don't know what makes me think that cake will make me feel better.  I am not saying I will never eat sugar again BUT right now I am in phase 2 of my diet which restricts me from sugars, oils, fats and starch.  This is for my health and I feel so healthy why do I sabatoge it?
I read in a book that the desire for "treats" is a thinly veiled attempt at self-medication....what truth in that statement!  Our medication should come from our healer/ creator.....we think we deseve treats for certain behaviors as well...WELL we deserved HEALTH, more then those treats!  Cause you and I know those treats come WAY more often then not!  Justification!!!! Crazy thoughts??? I don't think so.
When I cheat, I am cheating only myself...why is it we think we need the extra?  Just a little won't hurt....or will it?...a bit of sugar took me to a whole piece of cake.  Why do I mentally/spiritually feel deprived if I don't get my cheese or sugar?  BECAUSE my energy level and health level sure does NOT feel deprived when I don't eat it! 
It is truely a spiritual and mental issue!  Pure determination and will, bathed in prayer and awareness of the truth of what I am doing this for, is the ONLY way to make it through for me.  Focus, focus, focus!